by Eva Andrade, Hawaii Family Forum

Whether we like it or not, the institution of marriage is morphing into a whole new thing. During the early debates on same-sex marriage, it was stated that one day marriage will include everything but mean nothing.

I just came back from a trip to the mainland which encompassed both business and vacation. The first part of my trip took place in Colorado Springs at Focus on the Family, where I participated in a conference with other Family Policy Council directors. There, many issues affecting families were discussed. To continue my trip in the fashion of focusing on my own family, I then traveled to Houston to visit with my grandsons.

During the Family Policy conference, the Supreme Court released their decisions regarding same-sex marriage. Although it was a sobering experience for all of us, it was a pleasure to stand united with so many of my brother and sister organizations across the nation.

Although the battle over the redefinition of marriage continues, each of us should pray for our nation because this is only one family issue that touches children from every race and creed. God tells us that "if then my people, upon whom my name has been pronounced, humble themselves and pray, and seek my face and turn from their evil ways, I will hear them from heaven and pardon their sins and heal their land" (2 Chronicles 7:14). Because so many different emotional battles are taking place inside of homes across our great country, our land, in my humble opinion, this makes us broken and in need of His great healing.

When the conference ended, it was time for me to begin my vacation with my two grandsons (ages 6 and 10) who live with their biological father and his girlfriend in Houston. Although their father is still legally married to my daughter, he is in the process of filing for divorce. He has physical custody of the children while my daughter lives in Florida.

I became concerned with the state of my own family during this trip. At one point during the visit, my ten-year-old grandson mentioned his mom. Because he calls his father’s girlfriend “mom” sometimes, I asked which “mom” he was referring to. With a confused look, he replied, "my real mom, Nana!" and then asked if he was in trouble for bringing her up. I could not help but think that conversations like these are going to take place (if not already) in non-traditional families where one biological parent may be missing. Will the child then be placed in the uncomfortable position of being silenced and confused, just as I feel my grandson is right now?

Further, my heart ached when my grandson begged me to bring him back home to Hawaii. He told me that if he could pick anywhere to live, it would be with me—not with his mother or his father. He seemed overwhelmed with the feelings that his parents were using him and his brother as chess pieces in an unwinnable game.

Right here in Hawaii, I have witnessed so many young adults whose parents went through various relationships over the course of their lives. In each story, every new relationship brought another "auntie," "uncle," "mom" or "dad."

Marriage today is in a state of disarray, and that in-and-of itself is very sad; however, the worst part is that children are stuck in the middle of messy divorces and uncommitted parental relationships. About a year ago, my grandson told me that he had five girlfriends. When I asked him why he had so many, he declared that he had to have more than one in case his "main" girlfriend broke up with him. This is a profound statement when it is taken into consideration that his dad has been married four times and is now working on his fifth.

I share this story with you because the institution of marriage has been knocked around a lot, and I have witnessed its demise in my own immediate family—as have many of you. We may not like it, but the fact remains that marriage is on the verge of total redefinition, and not just in relation to same-sex marriage. Many parents today seem to be way more concerned with their own personal needs rather than the needs of their keiki. What makes these parents feel good “right now” appears to be way more important than what is best for their children.

Jesus said to let “the children come to [Him], and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Let us pray that the hearts and minds of all of us be restored to the truth of the Gospel. As imperfect as we are, Jesus restores and heals.

That is where prayer comes in. When it comes to the welfare of our children, we must remain in a state of prayer. When we do, I truly believe God listens.

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